I, Human: Says a Software Engineer

Here are the two lawsets emerging from Artificial Physics, cause I don't have any other term to describe the laws. :)

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Law Set 1:

Title: Threats of High Scale Automation on Human Beings.
Source: Ctrl-C Ctrl-V from a Sci-Fi Movie.
Target Audience: Those leading a mechanical life.
Syndication Tags: Systems, Cybernetics, and Man

Law #1- A robot cannot harm a human being, nor through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm

Law #2-A robot must obey a human being, except when it conflicts with the first law

Law #3-A robot must strive to protect its own existence, except where it conflicts with the first two laws.
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Law Set 2

Source: Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V from an Orkut Scrap(Syndication Keywords)
Target Audience: Technology Freaks
Syndication Tags: Software Engineering,Software Quality Assurance, Application of Physical laws in developing software models.

Law 1 : Every Software Engineer continues his state of
chatting or forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by
manager.


Law 2 : The rate of change in the software is directly
proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the
quick rate as when deadline force is applied.


Law 3 : For every Use Case Manifestation there is an
equal but opposite Software Implementation.

Law 4 : (Emerging from a bug created due to the three laws mentioned in the above software development model)

Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.

"Human Being is an operating system managing a database of information having the most complex entity relationship diagrams based on the most simplistic normal forms."

Giving...

I came across this web site, http://www.rurohatgi.com/, while surfing through the alumni network website of the alumni network of the college where I spent 4 years, http://www.alumni.iitkgp.ernet.in/newsite/, if you are one of the KGPians, then do go through it, it really has got some good stuff there right now. These lines, did really move me:

God gives us every thing, we should also learn to give.
What ever God has given we should learn to distribute...(1)

Air, light and water we get from clouds free of charge.
If we don’t give any thing in return it will be cheating.
That’s the reason we suffer, learn to remove these sufferings.
God gives us every thing, we should also learn to give...(2)

For walkers tree gives shelter or shade in scorching heat.
Tree by not eating it’s own fruit, makes it’s life meaningful.
One tenth of our income first give for charity, then use the rest.
God gives us every thing, we should also learn to give...(3)

Man’s life is priceless we should make it more precious.
Bloomed flowers give smell, that the way we should be.
Worship, penance and social work should all be offered to God.
God gives us every thing, we should also learn to give...(4)

This God’s world is nor untrue, neither this is problematic.
If we use heart and mind in right way then life is pleasure.
God gives every thing to man, but we learn to become man.
God gives us every thing, we should also learn to give...(5)

Well, this person seems to me as a real Shahrukh in action, as it was in the movie swadesh, another touching film, though it didn't succeed in the era of cheap comedies. I feel really sad that these kind of people never make it to headlines, the media is more interested in perverted stuff like MMS Scandals and other. The media should give a break to such frivolous things which bring down the status of institutions of national importance. If not mentioning the achievements.

Khamoshi

Hot hilte nahin, juban chalti nahin,
kissine kuch suna nahin, Kya ye khamoshi hei, kya ye sukoon hei

Hot thaar'rate hein, aankh darde daastaan bayan karti hei,
dil mein ik tufaan si uthti hei, ruh kaampsi jaati hei,
kissine kuch suna nahin, Kya ye khamoshi hei, kya ye sukoon hei

Ik tamanna hei ki nazronki zuban koi to samjhe,
Dil mein lage choton par koi to pyaar ka malham lagaaye
kamse kam itna to kahe, haan, hum tumhaare saath hein, humtumhaare hum safar hein
zubaanse bayan nahin hoti to aankho se kahe
Ik nazar humpe nazar kare, apni ik dhadkan hamare naam kare

Khaamoshi dehkta angaara hei, aag ka shola hei,
tufaan hei, bawandar hei
Kaun kehta hei, khaamoshi ki zubaan nahin hei?

Dhadkane

agaye hum kahan, puchon apne rab se
Wasta pada natha, itni kabhi geiron se
Shayaad uske paas mere liye koi aur khwaab ho,
meri sawaalo ka koito jawaab ho...

Soachte hein ik pal , ki badnaseeb hein ki bichad gaye,
Phir aaye khayaal, khushnaseeb hein tabhi dost to mile,
Shayaad usko kuch aur hi manjoor tha,
Shayaad kisi aur ko ache doston ka jaroorat tha..

Kabhi mile to puchenge, hume akele kyon chod diya,
Geiro ke jungle mein, apno ko dhoondne ke liye,
Andheri raato mein, chiraag dhoondne ke liye,
Garam, Sooni registhaan mein, ek boond paani ke liye.

Nazaane kiski nazar lag gayi,
hum sar-e-bazaar nilaam ho gaye,
Doston ko chod kar, hum itni door aagaye,
bhatakte saayon ke tarah sirf yaaden reh gaye,

Intejaar

Jinda hein is tarah ki jindegi nahin,
Maut isi pal aajaye to bhi koi shikwa nahin.

Ik muddat ho gayi hei, uske deedar kiye hue
Sadiya beet chuki hein, ruh jism se alag hue.

Raqeeb ne jab diya Uska saath, hum to besahara hogaye
Sirf ik nazar ki aas thi, aaj to woh bhi beimaani hogayi.

Aaj khuda ki nazar us par padi, to woh dang reh gaya,
Uske chahne walon-mein, khuda bhi shaamil ho gaya.

Nahin use maut nahin aayi, maut ki itni aukaad nahin,
Usne jannat mein ghar kar liya, par humen bhulaaya nahin.

Hamein Nyota mil chuka hei, hum kabse tayyar khade hein,
Humne khabar bhijwadi hei, ab sirf sawari ani ki der hei.

Jinda hein is tarah ki jindegi nahin,
Maut isi pal aajaye to humse khusqismat koi nahin.

Dilli Abhi Door Hai

Khwab apni jagah, manjilen apni jagah
fariyaad to jannat ki hei, rab ko manjoor kahan.

har ik shaam ko hum chandni raat ki dua kare
kabhi mile kaale baadal, kabhi barq ka guroor yahan

Gul khoobsoorat to hei, par saath hei nukile kaante
raat to jawaan hei par, makhmoor jismon ko hosh kahan.

pyaas bujha ne ke liye paani to hei, par khara sa
manjil dikhta to hei, par raaste khogaye kahan

shaam fursat ki aaye, dua har namaaz mein mange
mile furqat, to koi bataye isme mera qusoor kahan.

yehi hei ibaadat ki tujhe har pal yaad karen
par rahe hum 'Gumnaam' yehi hei munasib yahan.

Ek Rishta..

Har ik jarra mujhe apne khoon se ranga dikhta
apne bhai ke lahu ko mein juda nahin kehta

sar ko dhad se, jism ko zameer se alag kiya,
kaafir ko taqdir likhne ka haq kisne diya

jikr kare koi satte ki, koi bhatte ki
fikr hamen apne dil ki, apne rishton ki

kahe musalmaan tera bhai aur hindu kaafir,
usi jubaan se rab ki wajud ka kare jikr

kahe hindu tera apna aur dushman musalmaan
kahe sara jahan hamara, raam raam, raam raam

Har ik katra khoon par sirf likhaa hei aadmi,
aadmi chalaaye churiyan to mare sirf aadmi

banadiya ik pakistan hindustaan se juda
sarhade ban gayi par ab bhi rab to nahi juda

har ik jung mein mujhe sirf haar dikhtri hei
har jung ke baad sirf kaali raat dikhti hei

behas ke un har ik palon ko, bhoole nahin hei aaj bhi
un lamho ko ham koaste rehte hein aaj bhi

kuch galtiyan, kuch galatfehmian hein laazmi
galtiyan sudhaar na sake, to kis kaam ke hein hum aadmi

alag rehne ki hazaar koushishes bekar rahi
kya saath rehne ki hammen koi bhi chah nahin?

Kashmakash..

har manjil par kehte hein ki 'dilli abhi door hei'
Lagta hei dilli ki koi wajud nahi, yeh sirf khwab hei

Jab bhi unse milte hein dhadkane tej ho-jati hein
Juda hone ke baad, phir na milne ki kasam khate hein

Unki awaz sunte hi, man chanchal ho utha hei
Par unke paas na jane ko dil hidayat deta hei.

Nazre unko dekhne ko betaab rehti hein
Woh saamne aaye to aankhein churate hein

Chithi likh ne ko qalam bekarar beitha hei
Par qalam pakad ne ko haat tayyaar nahin hei.

Hamare dil mein kya unke liye pyaar hei
mere man ko yeh sawaal hi beimaani lagta hei

Kabhi lagta hei yeh sirf apni dil ki beimaani upaj hei
Phir soach te hein, bina aag ki dhuan bhi to nahin hoti

soach te hain unko dil ki kitab tofe mein pesh karen
Phir Darte hein, apne dil ki baat unko zahir na kardein

Tang aa chuke hein hum apne is haal se
thak chuke hain hum apne is dohre wajud se

is kashmakash se nikal ne ka koi raasta dikhaye
'Gumnaam' ke naseeb mein kya hei, kaash koi bataye

Phir Se Andhera..

chala ja raha tha, ik raat ke akele mein
manzil dhundhli si thi, aur the raaste anek.

ik hawaka jhonka aaya, mujhe choo.nta hua
hosh udaata hua, manzil ka ehsaas dilata hua.

door ik chiraag, aankhon ke saamne mila
manzil dikhi nahin, par paane ka aas mila.

do kadam dono saath chale, laga saathi mila,
us pal me jee rahe the, hume humsafar mila.

mera saathi, meri tarah lad khadaata hua,
woh chiraag, door hi se sahi, muskuraata hua.

phir ik hawaka jhonka aaya, palke jhapak gayi,
aankhe khuli to, andhera thi chaayi huyi.

chala ja raha hun, is raat ke akele mein,
dhundhli manzil 'Gumnaam'i, aur raaste anek.

Mera Muqaddar..

Woh bewafa shayaad kabhi na the,
wafayen to thi, raqeeb se, kiska kya kasoor?

Diye ko mere ghar se koi beir nahin,
baad diwali, ghar hi naraha, kiska kya kasoor?

mere wafao.n mein koi khot nahin,
wafa ke haqdaar aaj nahin rahe, kiska kya kasoor?

mujhmein sachchai ki koi kami nahin,
sach saamne na aa saka, kiska kya kasoor?

koshishe.n to humne hazaar ki,
unki nazar mein hum na aaye, kiska kya kasoor?

chanda bhi hei, tare bhin hein,
magar aasman par hein baadal, kiska kya kasoor?

hamare saamne, kal ik baraat thi,
baraat hamaari na thi, kiska kya kasoor?

thi shaadi, nikli thi baraat,
hamen nyota bhi nahin tha, kiska kya kasoor?

noor-e-nazar thi woh hamaari,
unhe do nazar dekh bhi na paye, kiska kya kasoor?

kal mere khwabon thi woh aayi,
muqaddar-e-gumnaam woh na thi, kis ka kya kasoor?

Adhoore Khayal

mera bas chale to jahan ko roak du.n
ye shaam, tum mere ho, sirf mere.

e hawa, izaazat nahin tumhe, na hi azaadi
ruhani khushboo, tum mere ho, sirf mere.

mere ankhon ki bandi hei roshni tumhari,
dhalta sooraj, tum mere ho, sirf mere.

awaaj ki hei wajood sirf mere kano.n se,
meethi koel, tum mere ho, sirf mere.

tham ja oh samay, ki mein tere saath nahin,
beete hue pal, tum mere ho, sirf mere.

aaj hum nahin, to aur koi sahi? Nahin.
Jahan-e-Gumnaam, tum mere ho, sirf mere.

Nasha..

Yeh mujhe kya ho gaya? Meri dhakane tej kyon ho gayi?
ruh kampne kyon laga? Man chanchal ho utha kyon?

betab dil be-tahasa dhadak kyon raha hei
dhadkane mere elan-e-jung kar rahe hein kyon?

Hawaon ne e kya darwana rukh apnaya hei,
meri awaaj bhi mujhe sunayi nahin deti kyon?

ragon mein mere khoon beh kyon nahin raha,
mere ruh ne mera sath achanak chod diya kyon?

keisa hei ye sannata beech bazaar mein,
Bheed hei par charo taraf tanhai hei kyon?

din-dahade ye keisi dhundh hei chayi hui
Neend mein nahin mein, par hosh mujhe nahin kyon?

awaaj ne mujhe chua.n, mein Gumnaam ho gaya,
tum mujhe jab choon logi, tab mera kya hoga??

Khuda Nigaah Baan

Wallah! kya baat hei, maula! kya ada hei,
uski chhabi itni khoobsoorat hei to woh keisi hogi

julfein hein magar badal ko chhedte hue,
woh baarish ban ke barse to mera kya hoga.

ankhen hein kambhaqt ladi bijli ki,
mere dil ko choo.n jaye to mera kya hoga.

jaalim palke rokti chirag-e-jahan ko,
ankhonke samne sooraj aajaye to mera kya hoga,

hot nahin woh resham ke parde hein,
mere hoto.n par bichh jaye to mera kya hoga.

ek mushquraahat chaand ko sharminda kar de,
lehron ki bheed aa jaye to mera kya hoga.

aaj band ankhon ne dekha, 'Gumnaam' ye haal hei,
kal mere saamne aa jaye to mera kya hoga.

Unka Naam

Keise bulaye unhen hum nahin jaante,
jaan kahen ya jaan-e-jana yeh hum nahin jaante.

hum unko humse paraya nahin maante,
apna kahen ya azeez yeh hum nahin jaante.

dil hamara unke paas kab se hei yeto nahin jaante,
mehbooba kahen ya janeman hum nahin jaante.

ho koi unse behter ye hum nahin jaante,
nigaar kahen ya pakeezah hum nahin jaante.

woh insan hei ki ehsaas ye hum nahin jaante,
preet kahen ya preetam yeh hum nahin jaante.

dil ke kareeb koi aur hei ye hum nahin jaante
dost kahen ya habeeb yeh hum nahin jaante.

maashooq ya maah para, yaar ya jaanisaar,
kya kahen, kya nahin... yeh hum nahin jaante.

Ek Din..

har uthta kadam manzil ka pata pooche
mile na mile, khwab dekhne mein harz hi kya

ek roj ayega, mujhe usse milayega...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

simatti hogi o rat, badan woh churati huyi...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

rukasa oh waqt, rakh kar uska sar mere seene par...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

sharmayega mehtaab, mere hoton ko choon kar...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

nam mere hath, uske julfon mein gumshuda...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

sannata bhara hoga, uske ahosh mein khoya hua...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

gilasa o sawan, humen jazbaaton se bhigota hua...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

na koi rah na manzil, sare khwaish poore honge...
tab na dooriya hongi, na hongi ye betabiyan

sapna hei Gumnaam, rat bhar jaagte raho
mile na mile, khwab dekhne mein harz hi kya

Main Aur Meri Tanhai

ye jamaana bedard, humdardon ka nahin namonisan
chede namak mere jakhmo par, aur kehte hein khuda haafiz

abhi aag bujha nahin, mera ashiyaan khakh ka aadha,
behta hawa pooche mujhse kya chupa hei us kone mein.

girte sambhalte bana hei aaj khwabon ka ek mahal,
uthte leher, ret ke us ghar se gale milte mere seene mein.

Geela hei mere birha ka kurta dard ke asuon se,
us par yeh sawan ki ladi barse dil ke mere aangan mein.

dil mein aas ka ik nahnasa paudha chahe ek boond hosle ka,
gairon se bhara yeh khushq hawa, aaj is mehefil mein.

tapta mere nanga badan aanch mein lage birha ki agni se,
sharab mile na paani, is bewafo.n se bhara maikade mein.

thakasa mera ye ruh, maange maut ki bheekh,
khuda ke liye bhi mein hun Gumnaam... aaj kaun hei mera haafiz?

Kiss Prophecy!!

Professors of different subjects define the same word "kiss" in different ways:

1. Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

2. Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.

3. Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

4. Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

5. Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

6. Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

7. Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in the state of contraction.

8. Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

9. Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

10. Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

11. Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

12. Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

13. Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

14. Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.
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Source: A forwarded Mail

Modification Algorithm:

Lucky_Number=5
For i=1 to 14
{
Read Line : Professor of X.
for X.
Link Professor of X to X%Lucky_Number-TH weblink in google search for X.
}
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Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

-Benjamin Franklin